165TO120

I am trying to follow ADF(Alternate Day Fasting). Some times I succeed and sometimes I don't. I have to see how far I can do this. For now I weigh 144.4Lbs. 

week 24 : 146 Lbs

The past 4 days was a binge eating roller coaster. I could not control eating! Its like the urge to feed myself even though I was full and not hungry. The heaviness in my stomach was satisfying even though I was guilty of eating food. This is usual for me before my periods. I am not sure if I had eaten the regular calories and feeling guilty or really really eating bad but the 5 day fasting compensated, I now weigh  148 Lbs.

Such a stubborn nerve its got Hypothyroidism! I mean, it dries out the energy,effort,emotion in a person. The lazy days  , irregular periods, mood swings , pmd are real. The harder its getting to lose even an ounce of weight. How can I do this? How can I reach my goal?

Its true, I never in my life had the need nor the urge to swear, but Today I sweared to myself like I never before. I mean, what can I say, For the past months I have been starving my self. The few two weeks I did ADF(Alternate day Fasting) no change in my scale. Then for self healing and cleansing I planned to do 5 day fasting. Today I was supposed to do my fast but could not stop from weighing my self but I did. And, the scale did.not.budge. Oh Man the frustration I got, oh man! Why is my body so stubborn to lose even a bit? why???! I do not understand?! I do not know what I am doing wrong (even with fasting). I have to get out of the plateau, I mean its been 2 months since I have seen any change in my weight, if I guess correctly, ever since my periods have delayed I saw the change my body holding on to the weight like anything! What strategy should I apply?? Exercise?! I am feeling the sluggishness like anything, that is the reason why I have been trying fasting and ADF and OM...

I have blown up on the 5th day fasting. I had a cup of soup and chips( a lot  ) A typical me, setting up for a failure always! And I did not even lose a pound on the 4 day fasting! Again a typical result as every time . 

Its was little smooth. I was little hungry during the lunch time but I had water and a half a pear.Evening was also fine too. Had some tea and lots of water. 

It was an okay day! I am usually good all day except the lunch and dinner time! I struggle not because I am hungry but because of my anxiety, anxiety that I may not be able to continue the rest of the fast If I do not eat a bit! Evening was very difficult.I gave in to my temptations and had a cup of vegetable broth and a cup of cooked cabbage. ! I was disappointed  but I promised that I wont let this ruin the rest of my fasting days. But one thing I observed was I did not crave junk food. Even the little bit of food I had I appreciated it so much, savored every single bite. I was very thankful for the food. Anyway moving on to the next day!

Today I was okay until the afternoon, but once I brought my daughter home I felt very hungry and I cheated by eating a bowl of pop corn. But I did not let that break my spirit. I want to remind me to pick myself up when I fall back. Like I said I am doing this for self healing, I will not check my weight until my fast ends. They say first 3 days are really tough. I am taking it one day at a time. I am not forcing anything, just think to myself is this the best I can give “now”?!

Its an easy day since its the beginning! I was all day indulged in work! I got hunger especially in the dinner time but I kept telling myself that it will pass. I could survive today!

I decided I will try to do fasting for 5 days! Mostly I will drink water and try to have (only one per day) fruit if I cannot take the hunger to keep me going. I know it is not "true" fasting, but I am doing this not because I can lose weight faster, but to see my mental strength to go on fasting for 5 days! I want to see if I can push through my limits. I want to see if I can let my mind listen that its just temporary. I want to cleanse my body, I am doing this as a therapy. 

I don’t know. Can I do this? For the past two months, I have been struggling to lose even a pound per month. Like I mentioned I am still at 150. When even I am setting a goal my anxiety is kicking in and ruining it. I have to clear my mind, slow my racing heart and tell my self that I am in no hurry and I want to listen to my self  and not fall in to the abyss again! I am doing this for my self, my health. I am doing this because I want to do. I want to remind myself  not to give in for that instant hunger gratification and the hunger will pass after 20 minutes. I want to remind myself to look for the bigger picture. The pride I feel when I achieve my goal. The satisfaction I get that I could do this for my loss! The healthy and quality life I will have after with my family. I want To premonition everything good thing that will happen to me. Listen to self! Think twice! Act with caution! 

Guilt is my Energy Anxiety is my Art Numb is my Emotion Quirk is my Spark Plants are my Therapy Books are my Escape

S.weight Lbs September Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Weight W1= 154.3 16 omad 17 omad 18 omad 19 omad 20 omad 21 Fast 22 W2= 152.1 23 omad 24 omad 25 omad 26 omad 27 28 29 W3= 151.6 30 October 1 2 omad 3 omad 4 omad 5 6 W4= 151.1 7  Fast 8  omad 9  Fast 10 omad 11 12 13 W5= 149.8  14 omad 15 Fast 16 omad 17 18 Fast 19 20 Fast W6= 21  Feast 22 Fast 23 Feast 24   Fast 25 Feast 26 Fast 27 Feast W7 28 Fast 29 Feast 30 Fast 31 Omad November 1 Fast 2 3 W8=  4 5 6 7 8 9 10 S.weight Lbs September Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Weight W1= 154.3 16 - 17 154.4 18 153.9 19 - 20 - 21 153.6 22 152.1 W2= 152.1 23 150.9 24 152.6 25 - 26 - 27 152.4 28 151.6 29 - W3= 151.6 30 October 1 151.6 2 3 150.8 4 150.4 5 149.9 6 W4= 151.1 7  ...